One last point, regarding “scandalizing” a brother or sister… can a man please come forward and admit to being aroused by the sight of a breastfeeding mother? I don’t think it happens.

Thanks for coming by and commenting. I did read through some of the comments responding to your article and I was saddened by some comments that seemed less than charitable in assuming flawed character motivations on your part. These were unwarranted and not helpful to furthering the discussion. The supportive comments, however, often were not substantive either and seemed to miss some major concerns. It was these supporting comments, perhaps more than your article, that motivated me to try to make some distinctions in my post.

If you look at some of the comments to my post you will see that whichever side you take (and I did not think that I was taking any sides — my post was in fact more about modesty and concupiscence then it was about breastfeeding in Mass) this is an issue about which some feel very strongly. Some mothers commenting here, of whom I can normally count on for support, seemed incensed that my lack of full support indicated, as you jested, heresy on my part. In fact, Elizabeth seemed to suggest that my ambivalent position reveals me to have a “contracepting mind.”

The point you bring up about the sexualization of women’s breasts is an important one. This is certainly a significant, negative contribution to the problem of temptation. However, as I pointed out in my post, the feminine breast is also a sign of feminine sexual value, albeit as a mother. What I mean is that the sexualization is not accidental happenstance but quite sinister in origin. It is an attempt to annihilate the meaning and beauty of motherhood, a lesson our culture is fast learning. However, it is possible because of our fallen state and the proclivity to objectify the other sex (though men and women tend to objectify the other in different manners). So, what is not clear to me is what concupiscence itself, in isolation from the distortion of our “pornofied” culture, would lead to in regards to the same temptation. I do not think it certain that a cultural purification in this regard, itself would solve the problem that many men face in an inability to appreciate, in a pure way, the beauty of a mother feeding her child.

Any way, I would agree that the picture chosen for you, perhaps set a poor context for understanding your point.

I understand your point about distractions. I agree with some of what you say though I understand that this is perhaps another issue that would serve to excite similar intensity. I will agree with you that affective reinforcement is not a necessity for the personal efficacy of the Mass. Your experience with your brother is an all too common and sad one. I have said a prayer for his return. You are also correct in saying that one need not appreciate every aspect of the Mass in an aesthetic manner for the same to be true (and your caveats were well said). However, there is another aspect of the Mass for which distractions can limit personal efficacy to varying degrees and we all suffer from it. This is our distraction from our active participation, in consciously understanding and choosing to join our sacrifices with The Sacrifice which is being made present on the altar. St. Therese’s comments do not mean to minimize the problem of distraction but rather they show her solicitude for Christ in giving herself to others even in circumstances in which she is falling short of what she is being called to. In other words, it is true that we will always have distractions in our fallen state. While not as grave, they should be viewed in the same way as sin: something to be overcome and avoided rather than accepted as inevitable and in this way, minimized.

Kate – except for my comments above, I agree with everything that you have said. I especially appreciate your reasoned thinking and kind temperament in the manner in which you express your disagreement. God Bless!

I have addressed so many arguments in the past week that I’m beginning to sound like a broken record; however, I agree that in our society where breasts – whether they should be or not – have become a sex symbol, as a nursing mom I have the responsibility to nurse discreetly only because of the respect I have for men. We should support breastfeeding – especially in Mass where all of us are called to be open to life, not just those married couples in the season of fecundity – but it should be done in a way that does not seem to “make a statement” as some people wrongly assumed I was trying to do. I don’t consider myself a breastfeeding militant. I am a mom who wants to be at the table of the Lord as much as possible. Actually, the main reason I wrote that article was not out of my love for nursing or my love for breastfeeding but out of my love for Christ.

I did not have the space to mention in the article that I did not nurse in Mass with my first child. Instead, I spent about 30 minutes in the bathroom and missed most of the celebration week after week. Sometimes I snuck out to the car. I certainly didn’t try to go to weekly Mass, which I do now that I do nurse my baby at Mass if the need arises. I tried to feed my baby before Mass, but she still cried. Ironically, for those people who complained about the “distractions” of babies, I now nurse my baby before she cries so she won’t distract anyone. I also nurse in a sling or using a nursing cover, often in a back pew. So not only embrace the TOB’s view that using my body this way is good and without shame, but I also do embrace modesty. No one knows I am nursing. I have never seen any raised eyebrows. I have been told what a happy baby I have.

Another point people seemed to have missed was that I used ecological breastfeeding as a part of NFP – that means feeding on demand and not using pacifiers, etc. for soothing a baby. This form of breastfeeding – if done correctly – works beautifully in naturally spacing children. My girls are 2 1/2 years apart. I became pregnant the month I weaned my first. I call this God Family Planning. Even some of the more charitable comments didn’t seem to understand ecological breastfeeding, NFP, or baby development. Babies, especially little ones, eat frequently.

Finally, the whole idea of distractions in general bothered me on some level. As Catholics,it’s not about what we “get out of” Mass. We go to give thanks and to receive the Body and Blood of Christ. That’s one difference between us and our Protestant friends who flock to church to be inspired and uplifted. I’ve been distracted by my own children (since I’m super vigilant about keeping them in line), an off-key singer, an elderly woman with an oxygen tank. I’ve been to churches where the priest gives a long, rambling Homily or the organist is horrible. However, I have to remind myself over and over: It’s not about me. It’s about Christ and his sacrifice for us. I’m not saying a beautiful, moving Mass isn’t wonderful and something we should all strive for, but sometimes it’s not reality. I actually have a brother who is a very devout Christian who left the Church because it just “wasn’t doing anything for him.” He’s missed the point that it’s about what Christ did for us. I think sometimes all those “distractions” can serve as a reminder for us to be focusing on Christ’s sacrificial love. As St. Therese of Lisieux stated. “I have many distractions, but as soon as I am aware of them, I pray for those people, the thought of whom is diverting my attention. In this way they reap the benefit of my distraction.” So if we do happen to notice a mom nursing, let us rejoice that she is feeding her baby the way God intended, that she has overcome the obstacles to get to Mass (and there are many as a mom of little ones). Even when we see a child misbheaving or a young girl wearing a low-cut shirt, let us turn these distractions into prayers. Let us pray for grace for the parents of that defiant child. Let us pray that God will touch that woman and reveal his love to her, so that she won’t need to use her body to attact attention.

Thank you for the thoughtful post and comments. God bless.

–Kate Wicker (the evil breastfeeding heretic herself)

I understand that you and others are very close to this issue; however, I do not think it is reasonable to dismiss this discussion as unwarranted on those grounds.

It is true that one has a personal obligation to avoid the near temptation of sin but it is also true that we all have obligations to others not to put them in that situation. The point that I am trying to make is that the temptation issue not a narrow problem of just a few men (and I understand that it is hard for many women to appreciate it) nor do I think that it is practical that men get up and move if a mother with a young baby sits near them on the chance she might expose herself if she happens to breastfeed during Mass.

I understand the point you wish to make and I agree with you that this is a beautiful sign of self gift. However, there are many others that I have pointed out that fall into this category as well that most agree would not be appropriate at Mass. Thus, this argument, in and of itself, is not sufficient to make the case that it is appropriate.

I think that this discussion is important to have as I think that we can all be enlightened by it if we can stick to the issues–the main of which I think here are the solemnity of the Mass, the issue of temptation, and the legitimate needs of the baby and practicalities of meeting them, and avoid being offended by reading into the discussion an affront that is not intended.

I do not think you have read my post or comments with sufficient care. I do not believe I have lambasted anyone. Nor have I said that I do not understand what Heath meant by “latching on.” I think that Heath’s response indicates that he understood my meaning.

Further, I have not called nursing a sexual act nor have I “compared” it to the marital act or diaper changing. However, as David C seemed to have the same impression, let me explain my intention. My point is simply that in making the argument that breastfeeding is reasonable at Mass I do not find it sufficient simply to say that it is natural, good, or even noble. These two activities are also natural, and at least one is not just noble, but very holy. However, few would argue that this makes either appropriate for Mass. In other words, perhaps this argument is a necessary condition for it being appropriate but it is not sufficient in itself.

I will admit that I am still ambivalent about this issue but your accusations against me have not provided any compelling argument that would sway me to your side of the issue. I think that greater attention to the meaning and solemnity of Mass integrated into a well thought out treatment of the issues of temptation and distractions of quotidian (albeit necessary) concerns during Mass would better serve your purpose.

For those against, the issue of the need to feed the baby and deeper consideration of concerns of damaging effects of even occasional introduction of a bottle to breastfeed babies need to be considered.

By your mentioning that you were not sure what the term “latching on” means tells a lot about your exposure to nursing mothers. This means that the baby is on the breast. This act is not a sexual act. It is simply feeding your child, much like you would give an older child a sandwich. You have a hungry child, you fill that need by giving the child what is best for him, mother’s milk from the breast. A nursing newborn can literally eat every two hours, with the feedings taking 20 to 30 minutes each.

If more women would choose to nurse, perhaps this porn-drenched society would become one where men are less aggressive and no longer see women as an OBJECT of their sex pleasure and treat women as a whole entity made in the image of God and given the ability to feed their young as their young need to be fed.

How many mothers who nurse have you been exposed to? Would you lambast a woman for blowing her child’s nose during Mass? Nursing is no more sexual than that act of nurturing. Just because it is a liquid, it can hardly be equated with feces and urine or sperm. It is equal to blood for it’s life-giving ability and the world would have be stopped dead in it’s tracks if women were not able to nurse whenever and wherever the child requests to be fed. I’m sure when the Lord asked that the children be brought to Him, there were for sure nursing mothers in the crowd; how could there have not been? And I’m sure that the Lord did not send them to the cry room, or dirty bathroom, or hot car to feed their babies.

Thanks for the thoughtful response. One more from me then I’ll gracefully bow out.

–Public witness

Of course I don’t mean having a breast fully exposed for all the world to see. Discretion, again, is valued.

–Temptation to sin

Some people are sexually attracted to small children; surely I mustn’t hesitate to let my son wear shorts in the summer for fear that a pedophile walking by may become tempted to sin at the sight of my child’s exposed legs? The line must be drawn somewhere . . .

–God’s nourishing love

I probably should have worded that sentence differently; this comment was to be taken peripherally. The main thrust was that I don’t think breastfeeding one’s child should be taboo anywhere (though I haven’t run down a full list of situations in my head), including Mass.

–”To the degree possible”

Here’s where another problem enters: you could most certainly make a compelling case to exclude breastfeeding from Mass, but my 3-week old children who needed to nurse every 15-30 minutes wouldn’t have been swayed. And asking a new mother, who is very likely already struggling with post-partum depression (to whatever degree), to socially isolate herself in a setting of communal worship sure isn’t going to help her emotional well-being.

The reality of this discussion is that both sides can make a good case, but in the end, I think we’re destined to come to a stalemate. Though our spiritual leaders have often upheld breastfeeding, I doubt they’ve written much on its place in the Liturgy (correct me if I’m wrong). Sheila Kippley, who has undoubtedly explored this topic more than myself, has no qualms with breastfeeding in Mass (discreetly, of course), and she has the support of many clergy also. I’m sure I could find many clergy who disagree though . . .

Thanks again for bringing this topic up for discussion; it’s important that both sides of this debate be heard and understood.