Married through Convalidation
12 years ago yesterday, Amber and I originally exchanged marriage vows outside of the Catholic Church on June 10th 1995 by a Methodist minister, and subsequently had our union officially recognized through a Convalidation of Marriage by the Church on August 29, 1999. Looking back, I think I may understand how tough it must be for some parents whose adult children have abandoned the faith and painfully want to do what is best to ensure the salvation of their children’s soul. For many years in my early adulthood years, my father and I - who were so very much alike - had a somewhat of a contentious relationship which placed a burden on him to maintain a relationship with his son who was not typically open to inconvenient truths and, at the same time, protect him from his own ignorance. He did the best he could. Despite the fact that I had not darkened a Catholic Church in 10 years at the time, because of my father - I actually went to confession and spoke to a priest prior to the wedding. Not that it would have made a difference, but the priest told me since it was only weeks away from our wedding, that we could just to go ahead with the wedding and return to the Church in 6 months (which I never did) to have it recognized - just what I wanted to hear but not correct (correct response here).
My favorite wedding picture of Amber who told me once, in no uncertain terms, she would never be a Catholic!
The exchange of our wedding vows which were not recognized by the Church, not because the Catholic Church sees Herself as the only Church capable of performing a valid marriage but because as a Catholic I should and must follow Church law.
We had our union officially recognized by the Church through a convalidation of marriage at Our Lady of the Atonement by Father Phillips. My father died prior to this and Amber’s conversion to the Catholic faith, but grace through his patience and words that he spoke to me shortly before he died, along with David and Tricia brought me and Amber home.
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Shelray,
I must say that I feel the best posts are the ones in which the writer illustrates a truth by using his or her own life story. Too often on Catholic blogs the writer relies on logic, theological truths or a deeper philosophical argument to move the reader. A story like the one you have just shared is in contrast much more effective. This is for two reasons. It is genuine and it is marked by love.
Early in my conversion experience I was so filled with zeal and love for the Lord and His Church that I would run my mouth to anyone who would listen. I tried to share all the great truths I had discovered in my Mother - The Catholic Church. This had a bad effect. I learned quickly that the way to reach another’s heart is with your own. Not with theological arguments or doctrine.
Thanks for sharing your personal life stories with the readers - it makes a difference!
-Kris
Comment by Kris — June 11, 2007 @ 6:59 pm
Thank you for your kind words kris.
Comment by shelray — June 11, 2007 @ 10:01 pm
Congratulations! I was in a similar position. My husband and I did not get married within the Catholic Church. At the time, I was not practicing and my husband is an atheist. Since then, I have returned to my faith and discovered its value in my life. My husband and I were married in the Catholic Church in March 2005. I am raising my son Catholic. I hope and pray that some day my husband will receive the gift of faith.
Comment by American Phoenix — June 13, 2007 @ 8:00 pm
May God bless all who are humble and obedient to Him and the Church. My wife and got our marriage convalidated in Lincoln, Nebraska in October of last year.
Comment by St.Jimbob of the Apokalypse — June 14, 2007 @ 6:08 am