Sex and the Human Person: Part V - Consummation
This series has shown that human sexuality is rooted in the order of creation because creation and the human person derive their structures from Trinitarian love. The human person is constituted, in part, by sex differences. Sex differences are integrated into all aspects of the human person from one’s physiology and pscho-emotional structure, to his very soul. Sex differences manifest themselves in a complementary way. Both men and women have everything that it means to be human but they possess it in different ways. Masculinity is primarily eccentric, meaning a man first goes out of himself before secondarily returning. Femininity is primarily receptive, meaning a woman first receives in order to give herself in return.
The human person’s sex establishes the manner in which he approaches his interactions with God and the cosmos. Interpersonal relations are no different. To have an authentic relationship with another requires the disinterested gift of self. The totality of the gift is dependent upon the relationship. However, sex differences are normative for the manner of interpersonal relationships. In interpersonal relationships, the masculine manner of giving himself in love is as primarily an initiating love, and the feminine is first an active receptive love in order to return love. This complementarity is the sole basis for the most intimate of relationships–the conjugal union. The body testifies to this metaphysical reality.
Conjugal union is authentic only in the context of a lifelong, total, and exclusive self-gift in the marital covenant. The cosmic structure of this union is the complementarity found in sex differences. Again, authentic conjugal union is only possible in the marital covenant and here only when the union is one of total self-gift; that is the giving entirely of one person to the other in an openness to fruitfulness.
Therefore, while complementary sex differences are a necessary precondition for marriage, this is not sufficient for an authentic conjugal union. Openness to fertility rules out any active attempts to squelch the procreative aspect of the conjugal union. Otherwise, the self-gift necessarily devolves into the selfish taking of the other rather than the reception of the other as a gift. This is true even if both parties are in agreement about contraception. Contraceptive sex becomes the taking of the other’s body for the purpose of sexual pleasure. Even if the motivation is not initially libidinous, contraceptive intercourse is still a selfish taking rather than receiving because it reflects the misguided desire for the unitive fruit of marital intercourse in separation from the procreative aspect–in other words, it is a rejection of the gift. Contraceptive copulation is a tacit rejection of the entire person because it rejects his fertility and the possibility of a gift of a third person, a child. The ill fruits of this mentality bear this out.
When the contraceptive pill became available in the U.S. in the early 1960’s the divorce rate soon shot up and a decade later the nuclear family went into “free-fall.” The astronomical increase in the abuse of women and children has tracked this societal disintegration. This is exactly what Pope Paul VI, in Humanae vitae, predicted and given this anthropology it is clear why he was right.
Male friendship with other men and female friendship with other women must necessarily be of a different order than the conjugal relation if there is to be an authentic gift. There is no possibility of fertile fruitfulness. There is no complementary structure required for the total self-gift. Any attempt at simulating conjugal union fails. It fails because it is sterile, there is no possibility of fruitfulness. This is obvious from the anatomy of both. However, it can also be understood at the psycho-emotional level, in fact, at the level of ontology. It fails because there is an inherent conflict in which both are either initiating, receiving, or one is deforming his personal sexual structure to try to be what he is not. The result of trying to live in contradiction to the cosmic order, in contradiction with one’s personal structure, is interior and interpersonal conflict. The faux attempt at consummation results in consumption.
Consumption is sterile; it is self-enclosed. Consumption isolates those who engage in it and leaves them empty. Sexual activity that is not a total self-gift, is not open to the possibility of the gift of a third person, ends up objectifying the other person and so deforms an act meant to be one of disinterestedly giving into an act of self-centered taking. In the act of self-gift, we are satisfied because we enter into Trinitarian love. In the act of selfish taking, one may momentarily be sexually spent but he is never satisfied. And so that is not the end; the need for taking increases and some are tempted into a downward spiral in trying to satisfy the need for increasingly perverse acts of selfish taking that are more and more separated from the natural order of creation. As selfish taking becomes increasingly perverse, the person experiences less and less satisfaction and becomes increasingly disturbed.
One might think here of Uncle Screwtape, toward the end of The Screwtape Letters, describing the demonic motivation to consume the other. Consumption is a manifestation of the disordered attempt to consummate, to complete oneself in the other. I cannot help but think here of the thankfully rare but seemingly exclusive “homosexual” consumption that ends up in cannibalism–even voluntary cannibalism. But interpersonal completion–consummation–is only possible if it is in accord with the Trinitarian structure that man images. Consummation is only possible when the gift is total, complementary, exclusive, irrevocable, and open to the fruitful bringing forth of a third person.
This Trinitarian anthropology is very strongly supported by the empirical data of the medical and sociological sciences. While some like the American Psychiatric Association considers it “unethical” for any of its members to even look into such things, this clearly dogmatic/ideological response comes at the expense of those that the APA should be helping. Nevertheless, the evidence is clear that SSA is a disorder which manifests itself in myriad physiological and psycho-social disorders. Here are some stats again which demonstrate this (see the post “It’s Not So “Gay” After All“):
…homosexuals are four times as likely as their peers to suffer from major depression, almost three times as likely to suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, nearly four times as likely to experience conduct disorder, five times as likely to have nicotine dependence, six times as likely to suffer from multiple disorders, and over six times as likely to have attempted suicide (and it points out that an “extensive study in the Netherlands (published in the Archives of General Psychiatry) undermines the assumption that homophobia is the cause of increased psychiatric illness among gays and lesbians. The Dutch have been considerably more accepting of same-sex relationships than other Western countries — in fact, same-sex couples now have the legal right to marry in the Netherlandsâ€).
Homosexuality and Hope also showed that “compared to controls who had no homosexual experience in the 12 months prior to the interview, males who had any homosexual contact within that time period were much more likely to experience major depression, bipolar disorder, panic disorder, agoraphobia and obsessive compulsive disorder. Females with any homosexual contact within the previous 12 months were more often diagnosed with major depression, social phobia or alcohol dependence. In fact, those with a history of homosexual contact had higher prevalence of nearly all psychiatric disorders measured in the study. Also, a recent study in the American Journal of Public Health has shown that 39% of males with same-sex attraction have been abused by other males with same-sex attraction.â€
…physical illnesses associated with homosexual sex: “the diseases found with extraordinary frequency among male homosexual practitioners as a result of abnormal homosexual behavior is alarming: anal cancer, chlamydia trachomatis, cryptosporidium, giardia lamblia, herpes simplex virus, human immunodeficiency virus or HIV, human papilloma virus — HPV or genital warts — isospora belli, microsporidia, gonorrhea, viral hepatitis types B and C, and syphilis. Sexual transmission of some of these diseases is so rare in the exclusively heterosexual population as to be virtually unknown. Others, while found among heterosexual and homosexual practitioners, are clearly predominant in those involved in homosexual activity. Men who have sex with men account for the lion’s share of the increasing number of cases in America of sexually transmitted infections that are not generally spread through sexual contact. These diseases, with consequences that range from severe and even life-threatening to mere annoyances, include hepatitis A, giardia lamblia, entamoeba histolytica, Epstein-Barr virus, neisseria meningitides, shigellosis, salmonellosis, pediculosis, scabies and campylobacter.â€
Those who commit themselves to violating the natural order become slaves of their own passions. Instead of giving themselves and receiving the other as gift, they end up objectifying and selfishly taking the other as an object. They damage themselves, others, and the entire social order because they set out in the direct opposite direction from that for which they are really searching, the completion, satisfaction, and peace–true consummation–that only can come by entering into a selfless, giving communion with God.
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I continuously find it interesting that those who claim that being gay is against the will of God always try to justify their prejudices toward gay and lesbian people by turning to science, psychology, studies of diseases, etc.
Is your faith so weak that you cannot proceed on the Word alone?
The truth of that matter I think, is that it is most likely that you have never even made a conscious decision to be prejudiced toward gay and lesbian people. I suspect that you had never read the Bible, never read a single “study” of homosexuality before committing your heart on its current dark path.
You have gone out and sought works by those that share and support your pre-existing prejudices, rather than look at anything with the eye of reason.
So be it, believe what you wish to believe. But the cloak of sanctity you attempt to put around your words cannot hide their basic evil and underlying hatred.
We see right through you.
And know this: no matter what you do, no matter how many little essays dehumanizing gay and lesbian people you write, no matter how many hate-filled laws you support, we will remain.
Gay and Lesbian people have endured and survived at least the last few thousand years of persecution by those such as yourself. Yet we are still here, we remain. We did not die out. If Hitler couldn’t accomplish our destruction with his ovens, surely you, a mere amateur bigot, cannot either.
We will continue to be a part of the fabric of this great country, and we will grow and prosper in it, because this is our home too, not just yours.
And there is not a single damn thing you can do about it.
Cheers!
PS: No doubt you will huff and puff and give a dramatic performance about being compared to Hitler. Too bad. Take comfort I didn’t equate you to something worse, like say, cannibalism.
Comment by Patrick (Gryph) — April 3, 2006 @ 9:26 pm
Patrick -
No huffing and puffing here, you have done more than enough of it for the both of us. Just some observations:
I continuously find it interesting that those who claim that being gay is against the will of God always try to justify their prejudices toward gay and lesbian people by turning to science, psychology, studies of diseases, etc. Is your faith so weak that you cannot proceed on the Word alone?
I don’t know whether you are a believer or not, but this assertion seems to reflect a voluntarist view of God. The entire series was aimed at showing the theological anthropology of the human person. Since God made us this way, the meaning of sexual activity is not something arbitrary but part of who we are. God does not, cannot, arbitrarily deem somethings o.k. and some things not. Given this truth of creation with its inherent order that accords with the Truth of God Himself, we should expect to see negative ramifications for violations of this order. The empirical evidence I provided simply supports the anthropology. Sure empirical evidence is not necessary for faith, however, faith and reason are mutually supporting. To not engage reason with faith is to succumb to fideism.
The truth of that matter I think, is that it is most likely that you have never even made a conscious decision to be prejudiced toward gay and lesbian people. I suspect that you had never read the Bible, never read a single “study†of homosexuality before committing your heart on its current dark path.
It is of course, ironic that you condemn me for pre-judging and then go on and do exactly that yourself. It is also ironic that you have sunk to personal condemnations in falsely accusing me of the same. I have done nothing here but reveal the truth of the human person and provided evidence of the terrible personal and social consequences of ignoring this truth. My focus has been on decisions and actions, you will have to point me to any personal condemnatory statements you may think I have made. I suppose the problem is that you cannot separate your temptations toward disordered activites from your personal identity. However, one must realize we live in a fallen world. No one would think of justifying (as of yet any way) a liberation movement of alcoholics or kleptomaniacs simply because they have had, from an early age, these innate predispositions to what became almost irresistable temptations to disordered activities. One seriously errs when he equates temptations with his personal identity. On this basis we can justify just about any act.
So be it, believe what you wish to believe. But the cloak of sanctity you attempt to put around your words cannot hide their basic evil and underlying hatred.
I would not waste my time discussing the matter if I were motivated at all by personal hatred. I would simply leave those with this affliction to succumb to the ill fruits of their disorder. Rather, I am motivated solely by love of God and my fellow man that I devote time trying to promote the truth of the dignity and greatness of the human person.
And know this: no matter what you do, no matter how many little essays dehumanizing gay and lesbian people you write, no matter how many hate-filled laws you support, we will remain.
Interesting, my little essays have done nothing other than presented the truth of the dignity of the human person and by doing so attempted to “rehumanize” those who have fallen into “dehumanizing” practices and lifestyles. There are no “gay” or “lesbian” people. These people are only people, human beings, who suffer from various manifestations of SSA. And you are correct, the disorder will remain as with, as will all types of illness and also death until the eschton. However, we can and must do all we can to allieviate the suffering; e.g. in the case of SSA by helping those in the situation to recognize their plight and seek the help that is available.
If you are not already, some day you will come to a crisis that eventually, God in His mercy, allows all of us sinners to experience. The crisis will be an opportunity to see life clearly and turn away from the things that have separated us from God and turn back toward Him. We are all in the same boat. Our brothers and sisters who are afflicted with SSA simply have a different cross to bear in life, but we all have our crosses. When you reach your point of crisis remember the apostolate called Courage.
Comment by David — April 4, 2006 @ 8:48 am
Thanks, but I’ve already had that crisis many years ago. And my faith in God has been absolute since then. However, my faith in those who claim to speak for him on the other hand has never been at its lowest. Especially since their current message is to pray to have an arm chopped off. It is the deformation of personality that your programs offer, not its restoration.
Comment by Patrick (gryph) — April 5, 2006 @ 2:11 pm
Thanks, but I’ve already had that crisis many years ago. And my faith in God has been absolute since then. However, my faith in those who claim to speak for him on the other hand has never been at its lowest.
I am glad to hear of your strong faith. However, human beings are not islands. Our faith starts from the sharing of the truth between one person and another. If you are Christian then you are dependant upon the testimony of weak and fallible human beings for your faith. Ultimately, however, you know that it can be trusted because it is God by means of His Church that keeps it pure; it does not depend upon the goodness or wisdom of people. Nevertheless, it is mediated through people.
Especially since their current message is to pray to have an arm chopped off. It is the deformation of personality that your programs offer, not its restoration.
I recognize that something one has embraced as truth, as a part of themselves, can seem, and in some ways actually be, a death to self when one has to turn away from it in order to approach the truth. However, if one recognizes his fallen state, his proclivity to engage in activities that seem at the time to be what is good for him but end up being poison, then one must recognize that his feelings and personal experiences are not the arbiters of truth.
Jesus actually said that one must be ready to chop off one’s hand or pluck out one’s eye if that is what it takes to turn away from what is harmful in order to embrace His healing love. While that may have been hyperbole, it still is instructive. Even though it may seem that to turn away from temptations may be felt as a form of death, this is not beyond what Jesus asks of us. Temptations, as compelling and irresistable as the experience might be, have no automatic claim to ontological status. This can only be discerned through divine revelation with absolute certainity and metaphysical speculation (using an adequate metaphysical system) with lesser certainty. Medical science alone has no competence on its own, to make claims one way or another about the mystery human person.
In the end, one cannot judge what is true or false solely from personal experience. Using Plato’s allegory, until one emerges from the cave he does not have an adequate frame of reference from which to evaluate reality. Until one experiences the liberation from slavery to his passions he cannot appreciate that he was enslaved.
Comment by David — April 5, 2006 @ 3:15 pm