Cosmos-Liturgy-Sex

John’s post last Thursday about the local DJ’s call-in topic got me ta think’n (this is me trying not to lapse into intellectualism) about other differences between men and women which go to the core of who we are as masculine and feminine persons. John rightly points out that the entire structure of men and women (physiology, psychology, emotions, hormones, etc.) are oriented for the way in which God intends them to give and receive love, primarily. However, this structure affects every part of us. Karol Wojtyla (before he was John Paul II) wrote a very insightful (and provocative for the time) book which was published in 1960 and eventually translated into English as Love and Responsibility, which provides an important manifestation of this difference. He writes:

The very structure of the male psyche and personality is such that it is more readily “compelled” to disclose and objectivize the hidden significance of love for a person of the other sex. This goes with the relatively more active role of the male in such love, and also imposes a responsibility on him. Whereas in the woman sensuality is as it were covert, and concealed by sentimentality. For this reason she is by nature more inclined to go on seeing as a manifestation of affection what a man already clearly realizes to be the effect of sensuality and the desire for enjoyment. There exists then, as we see, a certain psychological divergence between man and woman in the manner of their participation in love. The woman appears more passive, although in a different way she is more active. In any case, her role and her responsibility will be different from the role and responsibility of the male (Karol Wojtya, Love and Responsibility, [San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1993] 111-12).

The context of this statement is sexual intercourse. It is so very important, especially for teenage girls, to understand the differences between the meaning which men and women generally attach to the sexual experience. Because of their masculine structure which is less integrated than women, men generally experience it more in terms of sensuality and enjoyment. Women, on the other hand, because they are more interior and integrated will see and experience it more in the way of affection and attachment. While tragically, the culture is moving young girls toward talking and thinking about sex in a manner more in keeping with fallen masculine habits, they still will experience it as a feminine person. Due to their feminine structure, they generally should be more reticent to engage in sex outside of wedlock but now they are being confused by the culture. They do not experience pre-marital sex in the same way they are told about it and talk about it. I suspect the epidemic of cutting, bulimia, and other psychological ailments that all too many young girls are experiencing is due in large part to this confusion. Chastity is the necessary first step in the solution to this and a host of other societal ills our culture now faces. I mentioned Saint Maria Goretti and Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassatti in an earlier post. I will say it again. They should be every parent’s patron saints. While our culture may find teens’ and young adults’ experimentation with sex outside of marriage natural and healthy, it is neither. While we share sexual copulation as a reproductive function with the animals, human persons alone are made in the image of God. If we cast aside our intellect and choose to freely behave like animals, we do so at our own peril. Since we are not islands, this peril extends to society as well. Sexual intercourse can be cheapened by reducing it to a simple animal activity, by reducing it to a act solely for pleasure, or by using profane euphemisms in discussing it (e.g. getting laid) but these do not change the reality. It is nothing less than the way we participate with God in creation and the way we totally give ourselves, irrevocably, to one other human being in the most intimate of ways this side of heaven. When we behave in any other way, we are ensuring ourselves a whole heap a trouble.